Credit, Rachel Stone

Rachel Stone was 5 and her brother, Ian, 10 when their parents took them on holiday in a caravan with their neighbors in Wales.

It was two weeks of great fun together. But when they returned, the two families split in half and switched houses.

Rachel and her mother, Kay, have moved in with their neighbor Eddie and his daughter, Alison.

Eddie's wife, Irene, and the couple's daughter, Dawn, went to live with Rex, Rachel's father, and Ian, her brother.

In an interview with the BBC's Life Changing podcast, Rachel talks about the trauma of separating from her family, the chaos that ensued and how she managed to forgive her parents.

Rachel and Ian were overjoyed when a new family moved in next door. "The four of us got along with them from the start."

They were excited about the idea of ​​traveling together on vacation.

Rachel remembers two caravans parked side by side and a trip to Mount Snowdon.

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Panic, fear and anguish

Rachel remembers her mother leaning into the passenger seat and saying, "We're going to have a new family. We're going to live in house number 8 with Eddie and Alison. Alison is going to be your new sister."

"And your father and brother will continue to live in house number 10. Aunt Irene and Dawn will also live there. And Dawn will be your brother's new sister."

Rachel immediately felt "a lot of panic, fear and anguish" and remembers bursting into tears.

As the car continued making noise, she felt "confused, but also a little excited." He liked Alison and had always wanted a sister.

That night, Alison let Rachel sleep on the top bunk bed. The next morning, the adults exchanged their belongings between houses.

Rachel says she was very confused. "It's inevitable to think it's your fault."

Life in house number 8, where Rachel started to live, was very different from that in house number 10.

The old house was clean, while the new one had "dog hair, grease residue, car stuff."

His mother was "firm but fair" and very practical.

Her stepfather, Eddie, was never mean to her. "But I never called him dad. I wasn't his daughter."

She missed Ian very much. "I was very proud of him. He was my big brother."

"When I was little, I used to wait for him in the front yard until he came home from school."

A new chaotic life

Rachel was 7 years old when the two couples went to court together and got divorced.

Afterwards, each one married their new partner in simple and discreet ceremonies at the registry office.

Rachel didn't even know her father had married Irene until she saw the wedding photo.

Visits to her old house became less frequent when she was around 11 or 12 years old. It was difficult to visit her father, and she didn't get along with Irene.

Meanwhile, life with her mother, Kay, and Eddie was chaotic.

"[He] was quite possessive and controlling. When I was 13, she [my mother] said, 'This is unsustainable, we can't keep living like this'."

Rachel said school was her "refuge." She got good grades and became a teacher. She married and had two children, but is now separated and works as a business consultant.

The question that remained unanswered

Throughout her life, Rachel's mother never talked about switching families. "I asked her a lot of questions. She told me it was complicated."

Decades later, during a vacation trip with her own children, Rachel brought up the subject again.

"I said to my mother: 'Joseph is already 10 years old... Ian was 10 years old when you let him go live with my father and Irene'."

Her mother was "beside herself, consumed with guilt and shame over her selfish decisions."

"Years later, she told me the words I'd practically spent my entire life waiting to hear: 'I'm sorry I let you down and I want to try to make it up to you.'"

Rachel says that was the beginning of rebuilding a "wonderful" relationship with her mother.

Rachel never had a close relationship with her father. "He told me he had to choose between his wife and children. Unfortunately for me, he chose his wife."

He and Irene remained together until his death at age 81.

But speaking at her father's funeral, Rachel said she felt she owed him an apology.

"I imagined the figure of a perfect father who had been taken from me. I created a superhuman being, who could be everything."

"And I wish he was like that. But I also think we need to accept people as they are."

"I believe that parents do the best they can. We cannot expect our parents to be something they are not."

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