Today, we are interested in the testimony of Catherine Mugure, who recounts the difficulties she encountered in her married life.
Catherine's story begins while she is at university, after meeting the man who will become her companion. She becomes pregnant, which forces her to interrupt her studies.
As her parents were very strict, an attitude quite common among parents who want the best for their daughter, Catherine had no other choice but to go and live with her partner. Both then decide to start a life as a couple.
For Catherine, her companion was her best friend, someone with whom she shared everything. She was convinced that he was the man she wanted to spend her life with.
However, there was one thing that his companion particularly hated.
“He said he would never want to be with a virgin. At that time, I was one, but because of what he said, I never confessed to him,” says Catherine.
The young woman never understood why her companion rejected the idea of being with a virgin, but she did not want to compromise their relationship.
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On his birthday, Catherine finally decides to offer him her virginity.
“This event made me lose my pride and I also became pregnant. »
“Even though we had a violent argument after my husband found out I was a virgin, I consider this year an unlucky year. We had no choice but to live together since we were expecting a child,” she explains.
When the time of delivery arrives, Catherine gives birth to her child without complications. However, her husband is not present and begins to behave strangely.
“He drank a lot and came home very late. Every time we brought up the subject, he said I cheated on him,” she recalls.
The arguments then intensify and, for the first time, Catherine decides to run away from home. Her baby is then about six months old.
She became a mother at the age of 21. During their arguments, her husband kept telling her that if she decided to leave, she must never try to take their child with her, otherwise she would die.
Life continued normally, without her husband knowing that Catherine was secretly preparing her escape.
She asks him for permission to visit her parents. He accepts, but first asks her a question: was she going to leave the child with him? Catherine responds:
“If you want me to leave it to you, I’ll let you have it.” But I want to go talk to my dad about helping me go back to college. »
This was the reason she gave for returning to her parents, but deep down she knew she was getting ready to run away. Her husband even accompanies her until she leaves and authorizes her to take their child.
When she arrived at her parents' house, her mother was surprised to see her enter with a bag full of clothes.
When asked why she came, Catherine replies that the water was cut off at her house and that she came to do her laundry.
“The next morning I went to wash and get ready before leaving. I had left a letter, both with my parents and with my husband, without him knowing. I then left the water running in the bathroom so people would think I was still washing my clothes. »
“I left, leaving my child asleep on the bed. »
“When they read my letter and started looking for me, I had already turned off my phone. They looked for me even in the morgues, because in my letter I had written that if I continued to live with my child, I would either kill him or commit suicide,” says Catherine.
When I ask her if she really meant what she wrote, she replies:
“When you are depressed or under immense psychological pressure, there is nothing you cannot do. »
“I kept my phone off for three months,” she continues, crying.
During this period, she found refuge with a friend who hosted her for a while. Little by little, she even comes to forget that she had a child.
As she sinks deeper and deeper into psychological distress, Catherine nevertheless begins to rebuild her life and think about how to start again from scratch, alone.
After these three months, Catherine finally turns her phone back on.
“My mother was the first to call me. She started crying and told me that at least I should have explained to her what was happening. »
This call marks the resumption of contact with her family, but also the start of a two-year separation from her husband.
Even though Catherine continues her life on her own, fate unexpectedly brings them together one day in a store in town where she sold telephones.
“I would call on customers to sell them phones: “Hello darling, hello baby, come buy a phone!”. Suddenly, I saw the man who was my husband and I was very surprised. I didn't expect it, and I don't think he did either. »
That day, he asks her to sell him a phone. From then on, he began visiting her every day. They get into the habit of drinking coffee together before each going home.
But soon after, Catherine discovers that she is pregnant with their second child.
“It was easy to get back together because he took care of all our needs. »
The couple then decided to take back their first child, who was living with his grandmother, and to resume life together.
But against all odds, even after getting this second chance to live as a family again, the problems remain the same.
After a while, the arguments started again. This time again, the reconciliation did not last long and the couple ended up separating a second time.
The pain I endured during my third pregnancy
Although their relationship was marked by many difficulties, Catherine's ex-husband never stopped providing for his children.
This situation allowed him to visit the family whenever he wanted.
This is how Catherine found herself pregnant with a third child by the same man.
“After everything I had been through with my first and second child, I had decided that I would never have another child with him again.
After taking a test, I confirmed that I was pregnant again, for the third time. »
At that time, Catherine was already suffering from health problems. She suffered from diabetes and hypertension. Despite this, she made the decision to terminate this pregnancy.
But when she goes to the hospital, the doctors tell her news she never imagined.
“This pregnancy cannot be terminated. If you try, you might die. You are expecting twins and you also suffer from fibrosis,” the doctor explains to him.
It is from this moment that everything changes.
Even though doctors advise her to carry her pregnancy to term and take care of herself, her ex-husband reacts very badly when he learns that she is expecting twins.
“There are no twins in my family. Neither in yours. So these children are not mine. »
This reaction marks the beginning of a new period of suffering for Catherine.
As she approached the sixth month of pregnancy, her water began to break: the babies were arriving prematurely. She is rushed to hospital, where she undergoes a cesarean section. Her two previous deliveries were also by cesarean section.
The twins are born, but tragedy quickly strikes: the day after giving birth, one of the babies dies.
“I was asked to go to the nursery to see my children. When I arrived, I saw that one of them was lying on a table. He had already died. The other was fine. »
Her husband then abandons them in the hospital.
“My husband rejected me because I gave birth to twins, and he never came back until today,” says Catherine.
The path to healing from a breakup
Photo credit, Catherine Mugure
After being released from the hospital, Catherine faced one of the most difficult periods of her life.
“I almost lost my mind. I even came close to killing my three children. But God gave me the strength to continue,” she confides.
Regarding the twin who survived, doctors told him that he probably would not live long because he suffered from heart disease. However, against all expectations, the child is now three years old.
Catherine sends a message to other mothers going through similar ordeals:
“Never lose hope. »
“Your strength lies in your mindset,” she says.
Today, Catherine has managed to move forward. Despite the hardships she has gone through, she continues her life and devotes her energy to the education of her children.
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